Toxic Masculinity

I am on a road less traveled.
A black African man on a road to understanding my emotions and hopefully normalise the sight of a sensitive Black African man.

See, I was taught that men didn’t cry. Men were not sensitive. Men could fight. Men slept with girls. So I grew up with standards of masculinity that I always failed to meet.

I cried and still do. I am sensitive. I have never been in a fight. I have never slept with a girl. So, I grew up around a society of men that made me feel less than.

I rared for intimacy in a world that taught men that intimacy could only be achieved through sex. I longed for a connection in a world where most men were taught to connect with fists.

It is a road less traveled for me and other guys like me and I know there are a few out there. I am learning to embrace myself. To unlearn and relearn.

To clear my mind of the toxic masculinity I have been fed my whole life. To let the toxicity flow out in a stream of tears and sighs, or a scream of unexpressed emotions or perhaps any other way I see fit because I’m done conforming.

I am done adhering to standards that have led to the rise of gender based violence cases, rape, murder and decades of brutality. Wouldn’t the world just be better if men were taught that the expression of emotions didn’t make them any less manly?

Today, I will let my heart speak the words that my soul has longed to utter. Today, I will let my being break. Maybe that way light can shine through me…