Poetry

I’m just struggling to be…

Independent, I want to be…

Struggling to feel the ground below me, I am…

I want to be able to spoil my mom, give back to my family for all they have done for me but the tunnel is yet too dark.

You know, sometimes you try to remain positive then the fear of not “becoming” submerge you, you sit there looking at your life in sorrow trying to hold back the tears while putting on a smile encouraging others to succeed.

The struggle to be is not about having no ambition, its more like tripping continuously and not seeing a way forward. Through encouragement it gets better but how better is better when you just give up completely.

Life throws stones at you, people expect you to just stand there and take the pain and move forward. “Move forward when I’m bleeding, HOW?”, how do you keep walking when your leg is cut off, how do you keep breathing when you got no lungs left. Questions I always ask myself…

For an introvert like me, expressing what I feel deep inside always comes with the fear of being misunderstood. “They just don’t understand…” “You know what never-mind, forget I said anything”, my life, (sigh) all day everyday…

Let me get to the point, I want to be, I pray to become, but I’m struggling to… to just be…

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